I’m not sure in Tia’s short 13 months I have ever felt this bad, this useless….
I can’t settle my own baby, not talk to her. I’m not reading her books or taking her out daily to the park.
Instead I’m putting on baby tv and trying my hardest to get though the day till it’s her bedtime.
No relief there either, she was up till gone 2am last night and is still up now.
You see I’m poorly, I don’t mean a slight cold poorly. Really ill.
I can’t ever remember feeling this crap before and it’s a struggle to get out of bed, I’m taking a multitude of pills everyday to get me though. I have lost my voice almost completely, this is from the constant hacking cough which feels like it’s tearing up my throat every time and has made my whole body ache… My head, back, neck, chest and belly ache. And I’m practically solo parenting as he’s working crazy 10-10 shifts and has gone by 9am.. Oh, and I’m trying to pack up out house as we move In just over a week.
I feel so useless, I have never let Tia watch baby tv before. Not because I’m a snob about it, I just don’t watch tv myself so why would I put it on for her? We normally read books all day and play mega bloks and dancing and puzzles. These last few days, I haven’t read her a single book. Not for lack of her trying, she keeps bringing them to me and I put them back. I have put baby tv on for her, and it catches her attention for a few moments, but then she wants to play with mummy again. It’s breaking my heart, I have never felt this useless
She’s also feeling poorly and has decided (as she always does when sick) that she will only sleep with me. Only mummy will do, the trouble is I cannot go five minutes without coughing so violently I want to throw up. This of course makes Tia sleeping with me difficult, I’m constantly waking her up and I feel awful. All I want is for her to go to sleep so that I can go to sleep. I’m bloody exhausted it’s been a real rough few days and I can’t see any light…